thorne_scratch | I had a match, but she had a lighter

I am not dead. Still buried under work, though.

So, about an hour ago I was hauling ass down Route 123, on my way to work, balefully cursing the potholes under my breath and wondering why it is there is never a single road in Virginia that is not under construction at any given time. It was your usual middle of the week work commute, with the added contemplation of just how drunk it is possible and/or acceptable to become on a Wednesday Cinco de Mayo. When all of a sudden, I see what looks like two largish grocery bags or crumpled boxes in the middle of the road. There are some smaller crumpled things sifting around them. Oh good, I think, something else that can possibly take out my alignment.

But as I get closer, it turns out they are not boxes or bags. They are, in fact, a family of Canadian geese, two adults and four tiny, fuzzy goslings, regally marching their way across the highway.

Any normal hostility I feel towards Canadian geese (damn things used to crap all over the pool and were a bitch to clean up after, though I do give them some reluctant respect. They're part of the "large birds who will immediately fuck shit up in a hilarious way as long as it is not you getting attacked" group that includes geese, swans, ostriches, cassowaries, emus, and

squeemu) was immediately swept away by fond memories of "Make Way for Ducklings!" So I slammed on my brakes and sat in the middle of the road as they waddled their way across my lane. The person in the lane next to me stopped, and threw on their hazards for good measure, and so did the driver in the next lane over, and we all just sat there with goofy smiles and watched the geese do their thing. The parents were each herding two of the goslings, who peeped and scrambled around their feet, clearly asking their parents if there was a pool and cable TV at their eventual destination, and were they there yet.

No one honked (except the geese); no one drove on until they were safely across. It was an unexpected feel-good moment, all the better for coming in the middle of the week and completely out of the blue. I feel a great encompassing fondness towards all humans and avian life forms at the moment. It will have probably faded by the time I leave work today, but for right now, the memory still makes me smile, sitting here at my desk. Happy Cinco de Mayo; may there be tequila for everyone tonight, and no hangovers tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and I also bought a house. Or possibly a small European principality, judging from the check I'm supposed to write. More on that later.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I feel like I'm totally going to rain on this feel-good parade, but...

I really really hate those birds. To be fair, I really just dislike birds. I blame Alfred Hitchcock for scarring me for life.

Also, did you know that they are actually called Canada Geese, and not Canadian Geese? I only know this because every time I talk about them to my dad (which is more frequently than you would imagine), he reminds me. Every. Single. Time.

And my Avis Cyrus icon scares the bejesus out of me.

It's okay. You like dogs and don't like birds; I like birds and don't like dogs. We're all good.

I did not know! ...now knowing, I will probably not remember. Ah well. Canadian flows off the tongue better than Canada, anyway.

I have... no room for Miley Cyrus in my life. I'm sorry, Miley. You just don't matter to me, no matter how many avian goth outfits you put on, or Nicholas Sparks movies you do, or peace signs you flash. Despite your recent need to burgeon out of your Disney shackles, there's just... nothing there for me.

The birds KNEW what I wrote to you. A pigeon was patiently waiting for me on a pole by my buidling, and it swooped down almost hitting me in the head. I guess it's better than having it actually hit my head or poop on me....

PUPPIES!!!! I thought you liked Gizmo.

The birds are watching you. Always watching you. (This morning, while I was making breakfast, a gold finch kept attacking the kitchen window. I don't know if he saw me as a threat, or he just wanted my omelet. Hard to say.)

I do like Gizmo! But in general, I am not really a dog person. It has to be a special dog.

I had a match, but she had a lighter

Scary birds

why you always got to waste my flavor

Re: why you always got to waste my flavor

Re: why you always got to waste my flavor