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So, right now, I'm upstairs in my office, because along with my bedroom, that's the only area of my house I can really be in right now, as I hired a bunch of dudes to come in and fix the damage from the flood earlier this year with the remaining money from my tax refund. This is apparently what you buy a house: you constantly pour money in it, and you freak that you're doing it wrong. (And yes, this means I've been doing all my hanging out and entertaining guests in a living room that was on bare concrete flooring with long strips of drywall missing from the walls all the way around the room, ever since early May. I'm very classy.)
I was going through my file of "things to write about someday" for this night's entry, and I found a bunch of my notes from home-buying. About four years ago, I bought a house and have since managed not to burn it down, or get tarred and feathered by the neighborhood HOA, so I reckon that qualifies me to write this very important guide on the process. It is incomplete towards the end because I forgot I was writing it. So, I give you:
HOW TO BUY A HOUSE THE![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thorne_scratch WAY.
(Bestselling author of, HOW TO GET BANNED FROM THE VATICAN THEthorne_scratch WAY, and HOW TO ROMANCE A DOLPHIN THE thorne_scratch WAY and lead screenwriter for the smash hit, 28 DAYS OF NAKED GYLLENHAAL)
( Please do not actually use this as a definitive guide for buying a house. I give terrible advice. )
From there on out, it's nothing but painting, and floods, and carpeting, and waiting for the Verizon guy to come hook up your wifi, and finding scores of dead birds in your walls. But those are stories for owning your house and not the buying part. I'm sure we'll get to them by late December.
( Omake! )
Okay, NOW the guide is done.
I was going through my file of "things to write about someday" for this night's entry, and I found a bunch of my notes from home-buying. About four years ago, I bought a house and have since managed not to burn it down, or get tarred and feathered by the neighborhood HOA, so I reckon that qualifies me to write this very important guide on the process. It is incomplete towards the end because I forgot I was writing it. So, I give you:
HOW TO BUY A HOUSE THE
thorne_scratch WAY.(Bestselling author of, HOW TO GET BANNED FROM THE VATICAN THE
thorne_scratch WAY, and HOW TO ROMANCE A DOLPHIN THE thorne_scratch WAY and lead screenwriter for the smash hit, 28 DAYS OF NAKED GYLLENHAAL)( Please do not actually use this as a definitive guide for buying a house. I give terrible advice. )
From there on out, it's nothing but painting, and floods, and carpeting, and waiting for the Verizon guy to come hook up your wifi, and finding scores of dead birds in your walls. But those are stories for owning your house and not the buying part. I'm sure we'll get to them by late December.
( Omake! )
Okay, NOW the guide is done.
