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Back, at last, from Chicago. I am posting this so I will remember to post about Chicago.
Chicago appears to have afflicted me with a curious medical condition that I have taken the liberty of calling "boob-bone". Whenever I lean forward at a certain angle or move in the wrong way, my left breast gives the painful impression it is being jabbed by a bone inside. I had no bones in my tits last I checked, so this is a bit weird, and causes me to occasionally pause in the middle of conversations with other people and grope myself with a distracted expression.
Web MD tells me I am probably suffering some swollen cartilage from the aftereffects of a slight blow to the chest, or dying of cancer.
I did get smashed in the sternum during the conference (several times, even! cardiology conferences can involve as many body-blows as Mexican wrestling matches, and nearly as many costumes. more hooting, though) so I'm going with the former theory. However, if it doesn't go away after a while, I plan to ask my boss if we can publish my situation as a case report in our journal. Then, I can go on the road as a traveling medical curio. Like a freak show, but a little classier, because I've never quite mastered the art of biting heads off live chickens.
If you would like to be in this traveling show (rough working title at the moment being "Professor Szilard T. Voromo's Strange And Wondrous Medical Curios Novelty Array") please leave an application with whatever medical curio talent you can produce naturally or glue discreetly on yourself before showtimes.
Now I am going to bed, so I can have the strength to force myself to at least look at the 127 medical abstract emails sitting in my inbox tomorrow.
Chicago appears to have afflicted me with a curious medical condition that I have taken the liberty of calling "boob-bone". Whenever I lean forward at a certain angle or move in the wrong way, my left breast gives the painful impression it is being jabbed by a bone inside. I had no bones in my tits last I checked, so this is a bit weird, and causes me to occasionally pause in the middle of conversations with other people and grope myself with a distracted expression.
Web MD tells me I am probably suffering some swollen cartilage from the aftereffects of a slight blow to the chest, or dying of cancer.
I did get smashed in the sternum during the conference (several times, even! cardiology conferences can involve as many body-blows as Mexican wrestling matches, and nearly as many costumes. more hooting, though) so I'm going with the former theory. However, if it doesn't go away after a while, I plan to ask my boss if we can publish my situation as a case report in our journal. Then, I can go on the road as a traveling medical curio. Like a freak show, but a little classier, because I've never quite mastered the art of biting heads off live chickens.
If you would like to be in this traveling show (rough working title at the moment being "Professor Szilard T. Voromo's Strange And Wondrous Medical Curios Novelty Array") please leave an application with whatever medical curio talent you can produce naturally or glue discreetly on yourself before showtimes.
Now I am going to bed, so I can have the strength to force myself to at least look at the 127 medical abstract emails sitting in my inbox tomorrow.
