Bring Sally up and bring Sally down

Various failed opening lines I have tried to start this entry with:

So, I have two voicemails on my phone right now that I ought to listen to, but have not. One is from my oldest friend from high school and the other is from the guy I'm ostensibly dating.

I like daffodils.

Dicktoaster is a tremendous word, but I think twatwaffle has a quirkiness to it that could challenge.

I keep meaning to getting around to talking about my feud with the Sugar Plum Fairy but now that Christmas is past, it feels seasonally inappropriate, and I'm afraid people will judge me for it. Judge me more than for even having a feud with the Sugar Plum Fairy, I mean.

My morning routine remains the same. I pick the words I haven't said to you out from between my teeth and line them up neatly on the side of the sink.

Does anyone else think Downton Abbey should end with Bates walking away from the estate while flashbacks reveal that all the deaths-- Vera, Matthew, Sibyl, Lavinia, Alfred, Mr. Green, Gregson-- were actually engineered by him, and then his limp disappears? MY GOD IS THAT KEYSER SOSE'S MUSIC.

( This entry just refuses to launch, so here is a brief story about stuff I did in Italy two years ago involving the pope, as relayed through a gmail chat conversation. )