I can finally afford a young, crazy stripper wife.

The strip club account was more entertaining than I remembered, so I figured I'd recap it. But probably not all at once, because I'll need something to talk about over the next 28 days.

So, back in November, I attended my little brother's bachelor party, because I was in his wedding party as a technical groomsman, and because he didn't think it was going to be weird to have his older sister watch a bunch of scantily clad women grind on him. And if he didn't think it was going to be weird, I wasn't going to let it be weird either, because fuck if I was going to let him out-chill me. My second older brother did think it was going to be weird, and there was a lot of arguing over how we were going to make this work, including but not limited to diagrams about the bare minimum of distance we were allowed to be within each other at any given moment in the club, but we eventually came to an uneasy accordance, to be facilitated by alcohol when necessary.

Anyway! If you ever wondered what it was like to go to a standard strip club, here are my impressions. I went to a lot of events with exotic dancers in 2015. I am actually kind of exotic-dancered out, but I powered through it because I'm a trooper.

( Ann Landers has never covered strip club behavior protocols with your siblings, which is a pity )

Next up: buying lap dances, both for yourself and others.